there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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