My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize