I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
