Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
