Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
