need another drink. this is the easiest way
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
