I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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