Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize