Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
