My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
