I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
