Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
