just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
