I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
