dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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