You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Houston, we have a blender
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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