the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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