do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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