just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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