Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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