Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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