I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
