Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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