i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
