There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
