We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize