saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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