ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
