Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
