would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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