You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize