Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
