I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You took a bar mat shot.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
