I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
time to smoke my breakfast
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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