i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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