some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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