I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what day is it and did you see me today?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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