im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
