You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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