discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
