i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
