You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
