Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
be right there i have to get my cape
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
