bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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