dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
