What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
