I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
