Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
