is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
