You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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