Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
