Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
