She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
