you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
