i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
