Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
