Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
