Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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