Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
