I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
