Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
