On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
