he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
