Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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