the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I looked at my own cervix.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
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