The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
