Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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