I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
