There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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