My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
