I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want a musical about memes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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